woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
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