I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
