I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize
