Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
