he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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