the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
