I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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