You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
