I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
