he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I think I sprained my soul last night
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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