Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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