Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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