I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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