Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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