Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
