Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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