Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
