so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
