I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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