she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
So squirting runs in the family.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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