I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
