Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize