I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
