do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
