I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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