we have pet lesbian snakes
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
