I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Hippo gnu deer
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
