You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
