We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
even my farts smell like vagina
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
