No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
