Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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