either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
