how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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