yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
