do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
