this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
