he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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