I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just invented taco cereal.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
