I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
