don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Acid is not a monday night drug
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
