It's Friday. Sex?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
