I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
