i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
