I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Randomize
