hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
