So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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