Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
