She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
