I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
