So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
