He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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