How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
